Okay, here's one you probably get a lot, er... okay you would get it a lot if you hadn't just started. Meeting the opposite sex. I can't for the life of me seem to do it. I'm clueless. How about a primer?
For our first-ever installment, we were hoping for a juicier scenario like a sex addiction, or some obscure fetish involving bivalves or pollen. Maybe your girlfriend talks you into having a ménage à trois with her co-worker, who turns out to be your ex-girlfriend. As tame as our our inaugural problem appears at first look, it turns out that it is as complex as it is boring. In a world full of people, why is it so hard to meet that special someone? We can't limit our answers to meeting people of the opposite sex, because we're sure there are people out there who find it just as difficult to meet people of the same sex (excepting sailors out to sea on a submarine).
We could offer you all the usual advice … there's online dating, singles meet-up groups, friends of friends. You could always ask your favorite aunt to fix you up with her bridge-partner's son or daughter … but if you're writing to us, then chances are you've tried all these things and more. Maybe we should examine your accessibility. If someone interesting makes eye contact with you, do you get nervous and look away? Does your body language say “Stay away from me or I'll stab you in the eye?” If someone talks to you while you're riding the bus, do you offer only mono-syllabic responses and go back to your book?
You might also benefit if you were to recalibrate your expectations. Assuming you're not on a submarine, living in a single-gender boarding school, or a single person living in a society where gender segregation is the norm, coming across people of the opposite or same sex can't be that difficult. Do you have a preconceived idea of what your special person looks like, or what s/he does for a living? Do you compare everyone you meet to the one that got away?
Our advice to you is to open your mind a little bit and let go of some of your ideas of the perfect mate, and open your heart to let in the unexpected. Most importantly, we advise you to OPEN YOUR CAKE HOLE.
We found that when we take a cake with us wherever we go (with a knife, plastic forks and paper plates in our shoulder bag), we make a lot of new friends, of the same and opposite sex. Since you might try opening your mind and heart to let in the unexpected, it would be wise to cast a wide net and appeal to as many palates as possible. We suggest the tried and true chocolate bundt cake with a chocolate icing drizzle. Only people who don't like or are allergic to chocolate will decline, but you don't want to associate with people like that anyway. Bundt pans are cheap and easy to come by, but for some reason, bundt cakes always look like they were more trouble to bake than they actually are.
First, pre-heat your oven to 350 degrees F, and butter (or Crisco) the bottom and sides of the pan. (We like to use the “spring-form” pans because it's much easier to get the cake out in one piece.)
CHOCOLATE BUNDT CAKE
1-1/4 cup flour
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder (the Hershey's kind works fine, no need to go out and buy some fancy Dutch process brand)
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 stick unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
1-1/2 cup sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla
3 eggs
1/2 cup sour cream
Pour the cake batter into the bundt pan and bake for 40-50 minutes, or until a toothpick (sharp knife, screwdriver, or whatever other slim sharp object you have on hand) comes out “clean.” That means, there's not a lot of chocolate goop stuck to it. Let it cool for awhile, 5 to 10 minutes, before turning out onto a plate, then wait until it's completely cool before drizzling the icing.
Chocolate glazes are really simple, there are recipes all over the internet, including one for a Satiny Chocolate Glaze. We wish you the best of luck in meeting a person of the opposite sex, or even the same sex, and we hope that walking around with a cloud of chocolate odor in your wake will help bring that about.
